Doh!
Homer would disown me if I were his son.

I went to the mini-mart last night to get some beer to serve our guests and bought the finest the mini-mart had to offer (bless you, Apu)-- Saint Pauli Girl. I had a beer while waiting for the guests to arrive. Then a neighbor wandered by, so I offered him a beer and he graciously accepted. Then my wife asked if we had any real beer, and pointed out that I had brought home nothing but non-alcoholic beer.

Woe is me-- still two more to drink.  ¶ 6:59 PM