The Chicken Man

In penance for not writing in forever, I offer up this little poem for your enjoyment.
Chicken ManO chicken man, how art thou so prodigious?
thou has the size of a man, yet art thou whole chicken,
with feathers yellow and peaked crest of reddish hue,
rubbery orange feet.
Dost thou feed on corn or seed?
Dost thou need nest to raise thy brood?
Dost thou gobble, then void thy food
in oozy liquid, the filth of birds?
Chicken man, chicken man
you weigh more than a garbage can,
your credit score is low, my friend
but you still got your car loan, in the end
on account of the fact that American cars
are selling so poorly
and gas prices must go down soon, surely
so even a chicken man can
can a chicken man can a chicken man can can can can can
get a loan at a high interest rate with no downpayment!
Canst thou not fly, and are thy enormous wings
good only for deep frying, drenched
with buffalo wing sauce, dipped in cheese bleu,
the palate cleansed with crisp celery (a lot)?
O chicken man! Thou wast not so easily subdued
by ancient farmer's wife with designs
to wring thy neck. Thou runnest her over
with thy Range Rover and leaveth town.
And now where art thou to be found, thou vaunted?
Ye find thy place on America's Most Wanted!
poem by $J.Dolla.$