Nerds For Words
Monday, October 16, 2006
  Dear Editor,

Thank you for your recent letter. While I understand that my lack of purchasing history with your company may seem supect, I would like to offer some words of explanation.

We wrote your company asking for a FREE subscription to the Skymall catalog because as regular fliers, it was often the most interesting magazine provided during the flight. When the airlines took to charging for pillows and blankets, it also make a not entirely uncomfortable neck roll.

Now that we have swithced to a junk-magazine-burning fireplace, your magazine has found yet another use. Our neigbhors often complain about the layer of ash on their cars, but for the most part have been successful removing it with goo-gone.

I would also point out that Christmas 1999 I bought all the presents for my family from the catalog. That included the car emergency kit for my sister, the smoke-absorbing rock bag for my mom (who complains incessantly about cigarette odors) and something else for my brother, that has long since been thrown out or lost.

So please consider my earnest entreaty to be added back to your mailing list. My son is still pretty small and our house is insulated with ground up newspaper. We sure could use the heat.

Sincerely,

Charles Cratchett
 
Comments:
On a similar note, I'd like to come up with an invention that could turn the interminable torrent of credit card application letters that we receive into some form of income. It would be akin to Steve Martin's prospect (from one of his comedy albums of the 70's) of turning dog shit into gold.
 
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