Tuesday, September 26, 2006
WWJD
Charles and I have been pondering what Jesus might do in some situations that could come up in day-to-day life. This is the second installment in our "Christianity in Modern Life" series. We pose below some different contexts for the question, "What would Jesus do?" There's one for each beatitude ;)
1. Jesus's wife thoughtlessly maxes out the credit card at Banana Republic a week and a half before the next paycheck will be direct deposited. Arguably He could get an advance using "In God We Trust," but Our Lord doesn't want to play that card too many more times. How would He respond?
2. Our Heavenly Father's dear friend's wife has a baby. When he goes by their house to drop off a welcome-home gift, he can't help but notice that the baby is butt ugly. What does Jesus say to the new parents when he meets the baby?
3. Jesus hosts a Superbowl party for some of his fraternity brothers. Naturally, he abstains from participating in the side betting as he is omniscient. One of Jesus's friends is about to drive home a little drunk, and Jesus knows that the friend will die a horrible death on the way home. Should Jesus offer to drive the friend home, or simply revive him tomorrow morning?
4. Jesus and his wife invite some friends over for dinner that have announced that they became vegan. What a nice surprise for the hostess! Jesus's wife offers the guests rice and vegetables that have no meat, but Jesus is omnisciently aware that they were cooked in chicken stock. Should Jesus betray his wife's cooking?
5. Jesus feels uncomfortable at dinner parties when other people offer thanks up to Him, when he hasn't actually done anything to contribute to the meal. Should Jesus a) bring a salad every time he goes to dinner; b) offer to do the dishes; or c) transubstantiate some part of the meal to make the event more "special"?
6. Jesus, as a master carpenter, could be making bank doing cabinetry for any number of high-end custom home builders. However, His father is pressuring him to pursue a less lucrative but more spiritual calling. Jesus fears that following His father's wishes could lead to financial ruin and perhaps other adverse life outcomes, but he is convinced of the need to be a good son and honor His father. What to do: follow the bling, or follow the Lord?
7. The whole "turn the other cheek" schtick gets really old some times. Like yesterday-- the asswhole next door wouldn't shut up about all the stuff he's going to do if Jesus's kids ever pull the flaming bag of dog pooh trick on him again. Call the cops, call his lawyer, teach those kids a lesson, blah blah blah. Wouldn't it be ok to conjure up a seemingly random bolt of lightning just to shut this guy up? Maybe that's too Greek/pagan. Perhaps a horde of locusts sent directly to his yard... ¶ 11:21 AM
1. Jesus's wife thoughtlessly maxes out the credit card at Banana Republic a week and a half before the next paycheck will be direct deposited. Arguably He could get an advance using "In God We Trust," but Our Lord doesn't want to play that card too many more times. How would He respond?
2. Our Heavenly Father's dear friend's wife has a baby. When he goes by their house to drop off a welcome-home gift, he can't help but notice that the baby is butt ugly. What does Jesus say to the new parents when he meets the baby?
3. Jesus hosts a Superbowl party for some of his fraternity brothers. Naturally, he abstains from participating in the side betting as he is omniscient. One of Jesus's friends is about to drive home a little drunk, and Jesus knows that the friend will die a horrible death on the way home. Should Jesus offer to drive the friend home, or simply revive him tomorrow morning?
4. Jesus and his wife invite some friends over for dinner that have announced that they became vegan. What a nice surprise for the hostess! Jesus's wife offers the guests rice and vegetables that have no meat, but Jesus is omnisciently aware that they were cooked in chicken stock. Should Jesus betray his wife's cooking?
5. Jesus feels uncomfortable at dinner parties when other people offer thanks up to Him, when he hasn't actually done anything to contribute to the meal. Should Jesus a) bring a salad every time he goes to dinner; b) offer to do the dishes; or c) transubstantiate some part of the meal to make the event more "special"?
6. Jesus, as a master carpenter, could be making bank doing cabinetry for any number of high-end custom home builders. However, His father is pressuring him to pursue a less lucrative but more spiritual calling. Jesus fears that following His father's wishes could lead to financial ruin and perhaps other adverse life outcomes, but he is convinced of the need to be a good son and honor His father. What to do: follow the bling, or follow the Lord?
7. The whole "turn the other cheek" schtick gets really old some times. Like yesterday-- the asswhole next door wouldn't shut up about all the stuff he's going to do if Jesus's kids ever pull the flaming bag of dog pooh trick on him again. Call the cops, call his lawyer, teach those kids a lesson, blah blah blah. Wouldn't it be ok to conjure up a seemingly random bolt of lightning just to shut this guy up? Maybe that's too Greek/pagan. Perhaps a horde of locusts sent directly to his yard... ¶ 11:21 AM
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1. Jesus would say: "Render that which is Banana Republic's to Banana Republic, and render that which is God's to God, but from now one we're putting you on a spending freeze." Wait, this is a test - Jesus didn't have a wife!
2. Jesus would say: "Oh, my. Your child is most certainly richly blessed with a wonderful personality."
3. Jesus is too important to be a mere designated driver. He'd get one of the disciples to drive the drunk guy home.
4. No, Jesus quietly performs the miracle of "turning vegetable stock into non-vegetable stock."
5. Since he can turn water into wine, he would simply bring a pitcher, then slip off into the kitchen to fill it up in the sink, and then appear with "delicious homemade wine."
6. Jesus' father *IS* the Lord - only his step-father is human, so he'd be illin' if he tried to bank on his mad skillz.
7. Jesus does not have kids, but if he did, they would be cute like Audrey Tatou (sp?) and they'd never be so wack as to pull a prank like the "flaming dog dirt." They'd disappear, and Jesus would be worried, but then he'd find them at Joshua's Christian Books and Gifts store, drooling over the Veggietales merchandise.
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2. Jesus would say: "Oh, my. Your child is most certainly richly blessed with a wonderful personality."
3. Jesus is too important to be a mere designated driver. He'd get one of the disciples to drive the drunk guy home.
4. No, Jesus quietly performs the miracle of "turning vegetable stock into non-vegetable stock."
5. Since he can turn water into wine, he would simply bring a pitcher, then slip off into the kitchen to fill it up in the sink, and then appear with "delicious homemade wine."
6. Jesus' father *IS* the Lord - only his step-father is human, so he'd be illin' if he tried to bank on his mad skillz.
7. Jesus does not have kids, but if he did, they would be cute like Audrey Tatou (sp?) and they'd never be so wack as to pull a prank like the "flaming dog dirt." They'd disappear, and Jesus would be worried, but then he'd find them at Joshua's Christian Books and Gifts store, drooling over the Veggietales merchandise.
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