Nerds For Words
Monday, September 18, 2006
  Disorganized Crime

AP Wire, Austin Texas

Pepe’s Palacio de Piñatas closed its doors today after what can only be described as an extremely bizarre incident which occurred over the weekend.

A group of unknown vandals broke into Pepe’s Saturday mid-afternoon, causing extensive damage and terrifying store patrons and employees. Nobody was injured in the incident, and insurance will cover most of the propert damage. However, several of the employees were extremely shaken by the event.

Employee Tina Malasuerte, who has worked on the handmade piñatas at Pepe’s Palacio de Piñatas since she was eight years old, gave the following statement to police: “At first we didn’t know what was happening. It sounded like thunder, and then we realized people were beating on the outside of the building with bats or something. After, like, 10 minutes, they busted a hole in one of the walls. Then it was just crazy. People were running around and screaming. They were carrying sticks, and some of them looked like they had blindfolds on.”

Other eyewitnesses report that the group of hoodlums was led by a very tall, garishly dressed person.Photographs from hidden security cameras show that the man may havebeen as tall as 8 feet, had bright pink hair, and wore floppy shoes. Investigators are still trying to identify one or more suspects.

The lawbreakers did not steal cash or other valuables, but many were seen grabbing handfuls of candy as they fled the scene.

 
Comments:
Mala suerte indeed! I read in the police blotter that some officers suspect the "tall man" was actually a midget with another midget on his shoulders, hidden by an enormous cloak. I tried to find out why they are considering this theory, but the rest of the blotter was just a bunch of black ink stains in random places, and I couldn't make heads nor tails of it. J$
 
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