Ode to Cow

I, too, feel the need to legitimize my presence here at Words4Nerds by taking a more literary direction with my posts. Therefore, I have decided to offer this little poem, seen here on the Internet for the first time, which I wrote many years ago either in a drunken stupor or a fit of rage, I can't remember which.

It's about cows. It's called:

Ode to Cow

O, cow, larger than sow
not Gwyneth Paltrow
never inclined to say meow
just moo, and take a bow

Squirting udder, 2 percent fat
the rest is 98% at that
which the remainder great
is 100 minus 98

Chewing now cud, then grass
what's that smell from out your (hoof)
flatulent bossy, gaseous hose
smelly experiment, here our tax money goes

Lemon meringue cow pie
whipped cream on top, Guy
had a slice and died
or so the saying goes, "E.S.A.D."

Cow, cow, cows all
large and fat with plastic eyeball
tipped over by hoodlums from the couch
landed on nostril, ouch

O, cow, vein stopper
die and become my Whopper
$1.10 a pound for the 70% lean
$1.45 for the 90% scene  ¶ 10:13 AM